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Nothing
I stare, and see nothing.
I grasp, to hold nothing.
I chew, tasting nothing,
attempting to savor, the flavor,
of nothing.
I scream, my lungs hurting,
and about what?
Nothing.
I weep, over nothing.
I bleed, feeling nothing.
I smile, hating, the way
my mouth is turned upward.
I laugh, despising,
that joyful sound.
I loathe, the way,
the world goes on,
around me, mocking me,
and my pain.
But I, feel, nothing.
You probably don't check xanga
anymore. And you probably wouldn't know I was talking to you, but- you
inspired this. It's you.
| | |
| This Mechanical Heart
I have a heart comprised of metal.
It works automatically.
The beating resets itself
with daylight savings time.
I don't really care about you.
I only go through pretend emotions.
My heart is programmed to inform me
of the correct reactions.
I am not afraid of my own emotions,
but instead the ones you have for me.
For there inlies my downfall.
Despite my not caring - I do have sympathy
for the ones who truly care about me.
I fear that I will never break from this routine
because all the ones who truly care
are turned away by this mechanical heart.
Why don't I really care about you?
Why can't I go through real emotions?
Why is my heart programmed to inform me
of the correct reactions?
This Mechanical heart....
.......tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock......
| | |
| My memories are mixing together
I can't seem to remember 1st from the 2nd
My problem: too many thoughts,
too many memories, too many of you.
However, no worries, it's all good.
I can convince myself of better things
Easily change my thoughts.
Easily change my feelings, I think.
What I would like to know
is how you could do this to us.
Your family, friends, and peers,
Back here on Earth.
"What were your last thoughts here?"
I wonder.
"What situation could be so desperate
that this was the only solution?"
So many here, surprised by your actions
they never thought you capable.
But to think you told me once of these thoughts
And I never said anything.
How could you do this to us?
How did you do this to me?
| | |
| Yeah, you're just like me,
but you love me.
But I'm with him,
and you don't love that.
Yeah, you are like me, too,
but you hate me.
But you discriminate against me.
Because I'm not you're clone.
Yeah, you know you're like me,
but you look down upon me.
But you feel that you're better.
I know otherwise & you hate it.
Yeah, you're just like me,
but you watch from a distance
But you feel inferior to me,
No way, it's not true.
I'm just like you,
I'm teenage, too.
I have insecurties,
I scar easily.
I'm only human, just like you.
.....Yeah...but....but....
| | |
| :The Fall:
Hey. They're just an idiot
don't let what they say get to you!
What's the point, in the end?
We all fall 6 ft under,
What is your reason to pretend?
Everything bugs you. Why can't you see?
No one really cares what you think.
We all end up complaining,
all end up draining our souls
into the waste basket of "life."
Honestly who cares what you hear?
No one will remember in the end.
Oh your so cool, talk about your "friends,"
Who is your friend in the end?
"What end?" Do you say?
We all play this same game.
But where do we wind up when we're dead?
Part of the scenery? 6 ft under?
What use can you put your life to instead?
This way that your living your feet drag like lead.
Lighten up, and face the facts.
No one really gives a crap.
Have some fun before life's done.
Because we all take the fall in the end.
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